Life Tribute by Marilyn Dion, Life-Cycle Celebrant™
EARLY YEARS
Marguerite and William were proud to bring their first born son home to 21 Fairholt here in Hamilton to meet his sister Judi. As was the custom and still is in some families, Bill was named after his father – a man who Bill spent most of his life trying not to be like.
It wasn’t long before there were a total of six children in their family. Though they remained in Hamilton, the family moved several times and lived in homes on Grenadier, Deschene and Dallas streets. Three boys and three girls were raised with the Hockridge name – Bill, Gary and Robert and Judi, Sandra Lee and Marilyn.
When Bill was a child attending Prince of Wales Public School, his sister Judi was appointed to be responsible for him, even though she was only a year older. It turns out he was a bit of a scrapper – oh let’s just say young Bill loved to fight! He broke so many eye glasses that it was common to see his glasses taped with a white bandage. One time he was being so cautious because his mother would be very angry if it happened again. He carefully sat his eyeglasses under a tree to keep them safe –until he forgot and sat on top of them! Certain teachers would call Judi to his class to embarrass him when he acted out. To all the kids, he was known as ‘Hawkeye’ – making Judi that guy, Hawkeye’s sister. His other nickname, one that most children who wore glasses were teasingly called, was ‘four eyes’.
There was a time during grade school that Bill sang in a church choir. It turned out he was not a church attendee as he grew up. In fact when he was older, he would joke that any church would burn down if he sang there.
By all accounts, Bill was accident prone most of his life. As a child, there was the time that he attempted to climb the very high-pointed fence at Gage Park. He impaled himself on the top and was hanging from it until the ambulance arrived. They say he almost lost his leg that time – and he had the scars to prove it.
It was a wonder he survived those early years – he even graduated with a Grade 12 diploma!
DATING AND MARRIED LIFE
Sue and Bill met in the 60’s and planned their marriage for mid September 1968. Apparently, he got the proverbial ‘cold feet’ and the wedding was cancelled. Soon his feet warmed up and the pair were married on October 30, 1968. They took up residence in his parent’s basement. Bill really, really wanted to get married on Halloween but Sue said no way. There is a standing family joke that Sue’s grandmother thought that she was pregnant –well that theory was proven wrong because Ken was born eight years later!
Bill could be pretty sly to get what he wanted. For instance, when he was a young man and he was dating Sue, she had a midnight curfew. He knew just how to get around a formal curfew to get extra time with Sue. He would buy a delicious pizza and take it to her house … the smell would lure Sue’s mom right out of bed so she could have a taste. Bill could count on one slice buying at least an extra half hour of time with his sweetheart.
He didn’t have an easy time growing up so it wasn’t surprising that he was not very demonstrative or visibly affectionate. But if he cared about you, you knew it and he always, always kissed his wife Sue good night. He loved and trusted her. When she traveled with her girlfriends or sisters over the years, he showed her how much he cared because he would call her every day.
Every year for the first 24 years of their marriage, he sent the romantic gesture of roses to her workplace on their anniversary. On their 25th anniversary when roses were $100 for two dozen, they started going out for dinner instead!
Sue complained to Bill around the 30-year mark that he was getting boring – as a real homebody, he wouldn’t go anywhere or do anything out of the ordinary. He said “what do you want to do?” and she said “get a tattoo!”, so they did!
To his wife, Bill was many things – companion, best friend, and once in a while, he was a teacher on the golf course. He would point out areas where she could improve. She took part in five tournaments with him. He really loved golfing with his buddies Joshua, Ed, John, Adolf and Kevin. His sons reminisced about the golf competitions they would have in their backyard hitting the ball far over the back fence. Bill even made sure that little Eli had children’s clubs to learn the basics. One other thing he tried to teach Sue was how to save money – much to his chagrin, he was never quite able to accomplish that - he saved, she spent!
The couple and their family always lived in Hamilton. After their initial residence at Bill’s parents’ house, they moved to Concession St., Homewood Ave., Crockett St., Jones St., East 24th and finally their home for 31 years … on Governors Rd in Copetown.
The man had quite the sense of humour. At Sue’s father’s funeral, the guys made fun of his mauve suit and not because it clashed with her red dress – because it was, well, mauve! No problem, he just took the pants off outside in the yard and sat in his underwear. Everyone remembers that mauve suit!
WORK ETHIC
After high school, Bill always found a job – even if it was painting houses; Sue and Bill were even superintendents in an apartment building they lived in.
Bill was hired by the City of Hamilton to work as a stationary engineer. He was willing to put in the time to apprentice and had a strong work ethic and the responsible attitude required. He also had the interest in learning highly technical subjects. Part of the job involved working shifts at sewer plants and places like Hamilton Place and Copps Coliseum. He took a retirement package at age 52 after working for 37 years for the City of Hamilton. But Bill was no couch potato and loved to work so he looked for another job to occupy his time. He became employed at Knollwood Golf and Country Club and for 15 years, kept those greens immaculate.
DIYer EXTRAORDINAIRE
Bill was a master do-it-yourself kind of guy. His home was his castle. He had lived in and made improvements to his home for 31 years and prior to that, he renovated the couple’s home on East 24th.
There was something about building sheds that fascinated Bill. In fact, he became known as a shed builder. The one he built at their home in Copetown was big enough that people who saw it thought that the in-laws were moving in, as it was so large.But to Bill, it wasn’t big enough to hold all his tools, so he built an addition!
He was infamous for taking a shortcut. One of the expressions he was known for was “that’s good enough”. He had the “good enough” theory when making repairs– if pieces didn’t meet just caulk it, and that would be “good enough”. No matter what job that needed doing around the house, if he wasn’t doing it himself, he was always the supervisor – making sure his sons did the job correctly.
Ken and Chris tell the story of how he built them an amazing tree fort. In fact he nearly cut his arm off with the saw, but no problem, he figured he could tape the wound up with duct tape! His misadventures caused a few rather serious injuries resulting in both shoulder and knee operations, but you couldn’t keep that man down for long!
Bill always kept his grass perfectly manicured. He prided himself on not having one dandelion on his lawn. No matter what job he did, he took pride in his work. He was definitely not a perfectionist though except when it came to lawn care. For that, he was an expert.
LOVER OF CHILDREN
Bill loved children! There is no doubt in the minds of the people that knew him well that his proudest life moments were when his sons were born and then later in life, the births of his grandchildren.
When each of his sons was born, Sue received beautiful red roses. The first time dad was so thrilled when Ken was born that when he came back to the hospital at 11, the nurses realized he had been out celebrating a little too much and wouldn’t let him in to visit. His response was “but I have to see my son!” Sue had post-partum depression and after calling him, he came back to the hospital in the middle of the night and snuck in to see her and the baby.
His sister-in-law Lori fondly remembers him paying her to wash his car when she was only nine years old. She also recalls the time he took her and Sandra Lee, his sister, to the drive-in to get ice cream.
Bill’s grandchildren were his world. Whenever one was born, he would actually go by himself to Carter’s and shop for the new baby. His good taste was reflected in the blanket and clothes he would purchase and take to the hospital. His daughter-in-law, Melissa, who had had a C-section, was so impressed when he came to the hospital every day to visit. It touched her heart that he visited so regularly and she will never forget the day Bill said to her “thank you so very, very much!”
Sage, his eldest granddaughter, will always cherish memories of the days Grandpa would pick her up and take her to lunch; most often it was just the two of them enjoying hot dogs from the hot dog cart at Canadian Tire. And he often bought her favourite snack for her – orange peppers!
His niece, Alexis recalls how her Uncle Bill taught her how to walk on the treadmill. He was fond of spoiling children with treats like popsicles and fudgesicles. Of course he paid no attention to timing, whether it was just before a meal or just before getting in the car to go home – he gave treats when the mood hit him and when those lovable innocent eyes tugged at his heart strings.
He would do such sweet things when it came to children. For instance, he paid the children next door to bring his paper to him every day from the mailbox. He was never stingy when it came to kids.
Bill loved to entertain the kids. He would get out his tractor to give them a ride every visit. However, there was one thing Bill did not like about children.He just could not handle changing diapers. Once, one of the boys ended up with his Dr. Denton’s pajamas full of the super smelly yucky stuff. Of course they were using cloth diapers in those days and there was no way that Bill could even begin to stomach the change. Luckily for him and the child, there was a lovely lady across the street. Can you picture him holding the little guy under the armpits, racing across the street and begging for help? Thank goodness she had no problem changing diapers.
DOG LOVER
Bill was Sue’s ‘diamond in the rough’! He would never admit that he was infallible. He had a soft spot in his heart for dogs – you could say when it came to dogs and children, his Teddy Bear interior nature overcame the Grizzly Bear exterior. He and his wife had five collies in the early days of their marriage. They would breed them; Bill would deliver the puppies and then sell the litters. Chris, their son, owned a dog called Damian who wasn’t fitting in well in his home because he was jealous of his daughter Hannah. So the loveable pit bull came to live with Bill and Sue. Damian bonded with Bill, and became his best friend – following him everywhere and sleeping on his bed.
Reading–Melissa
The following poem by Taylor Mali shows how significant Sue and Bill’s dogs and their love of dogs have applied throughout Bill’s life and in their relationship through almost 49 years of marriage. Melissa will now read:
Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog by Taylor Mali
First of all, it's a big responsibility,
So think long and hard before deciding on love.
On the other hand, love gives you a sense of security:
when you're walking down the street late at night and you have a leash on love ain't no one going to mess with you.
Because crooks and muggers think love is unpredictable.
Who knows what love could do in its own defense?
On cold winter nights, love is warm.
It lies between you and lives and breathes and makes funny noises.
Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.
It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.
Love doesn't like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life, but you can never be mad at love for long.
Is love good all the time? No! No!
Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love.
Love makes messes.
Love leaves you little surprises here and there.
Love needs lots of cleaning up after.
Sometimes you just want to get love fixed.
Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of newspaper and swat love on the nose, not so much to cause pain,
just to let love know `Don't you ever do that again!'
Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.
Because love loves exercise.
It runs you around the block and leaves you panting.
It pulls you in several different directions at once, or winds around and around you until you're all wound up and can't move.
But love makes you meet people wherever you go.
People who have nothing in common but love
stop and talk to each other on the street.
Throw things away and love will bring them back,
again, and again, and again.
But most of all, love needs love, lots of it.
And in return, love loves you and never stops."
LOVER OF GADGETS
The man was a lover of gadgets and collected many over the years. Most purchased over the last five years were never used or only used once. For instance, there are two android TV boxes still in their packaging and an Epson projector that no one is sure why it was purchased in the first place!
One time he bought a drone. The first time he used it, the darn thing got stuck in a tree! Chris had to get a ladder to reach it. Back in the box it went and it hasn’t been used since. The entire experience took about two seconds of flying and two hours for retrieval.
FRUGAL BUT GENEROUS
On the one hand, Bill pinched pennies and on the other, he was very generous. Sometimes he could be known as the ‘penny Nazi’. His sister Judi feels the most important thing he taught her was to be frugal.
Bill would keep the AC in the house so cold that guests would ask for slippers and sweaters.Though no one is sure why that changed, the collective guess is that hydro went up in cost dramatically.
On any given day he would discuss the price of gas or provincial politics – and he LOVED that Kathleen Wynne, Not! He would also insist on giving his sister Judi $20.00 for gas even if it was a $2.00 trip. He would never buy the cheapest or anything of poor quality.
He specifically wouldn’t answer someone calling long distance. He would prefer to call them back so they would not have to pay for the call.
After looking at all the pictures and memory albums, Sue realized what a generous person he was even though his favourite phrase was “I’mon a fixed income”. He never wanted to give his sons money because “they need to stand on their own feet someday” – but he did anyway when they needed the help.
GRUDGE MASTER
A typical Gemini, he could be quite bullheaded and would not give in. And that man could hold a grudge! The longest lasting was between him and his sister Sandra Lee. There was an error in an obituary written by his sister and when his children were not mentioned, he did not speak to her for many years. When they finally did speak again, they became so much closer than they had ever been. Once their alienation was over they spoke on the phone frequently and when she would say “I love you”, he would say “yup” and that would mean l love you back. They became so close that it is not really surprising that she also fell on the same day and around the same time as Bill’s fatal fall.
BEER, BEEF AND BBQ
Bill loved his beer, with alcohol or without, but he had an unwritten policy to not drink in front of the children. Or he just didn’t want to share his beer – we’ll never know for sure. At family barbecues, he would disappear into the garage for a moment or two and have a sip of his warm beer.
He loved to cook and could make some great tasting spaghetti but his wife often wondered if the delicious meal was worth it – he could total a kitchen with spaghetti and sauce all over the walls! Colour him and the walls red when it happened once at his mother-in-laws. Bill was a BBQ Master, especially his favourite meal – a nice, juicy steak. Of course he wouldn’t turn down roast beef. He learned to use an outdoor deep fryer for turkey and beer can chicken. His family still chuckle about the first time he tried the fryer. The turkey was so overdone and dried out that it was referred to as the National Lampoon Turkey!
Bill excelled in making the absolute best #1 horseradish, the ingredients of which were grown in his own backyard. One time he mailed some to his sister in Victoria. I believe the last few bottles stockpiled in the pantry are worth their weight in gold because he never would share his recipe with anyone!
On the rare occasion Bill would grab something fast while out and about, his choice would be the ‘cold cut combo’ at Subway. He loved sweets especially Smarties and M&Ms and he squirreled away all the leftover mini Halloween chocolate bars ostensibly to help Sue with her diet.
When he was working, he was usually out the door without breakfast most days.
AVID GOLFER
Before he became an avid golfer, he thought the game was stupid. He was never really into any sports except for the spectator type. The problem was that he was so accident prone back when he was a kid due to his poor vision and lazy eye. However, when he retired, that all changed. He took up golf and spared no expense for his new golf hobby. Because there were a few times he got caught in the rain, he purchased an ‘over the cart’ cover that he never did end up using – it’s still in the trunk of his car. Perhaps it was like a lucky rabbit’s foot that kept the rain away!
HIS CARS
He loved cars with gadgets galore – full of bells and whistles. When Sue was first dating Bill, he drove a bright lime green car with psychedelic flowers on it –oh the good old days. Sue would see that car parked across from Westdale High School at Patti Greens Pub. Sometimes Bill would follow her home in his car and gently bop the bumper of her car with his at the stop lights. That was some love tap!!
In later years, he was very protective of his cars and did not like anyone else driving them. He preferred North American style cars like the Chevy Malibu as long as they were fully loaded. His Cadillac El Dorado was so large that it seemed to take up the whole driveway. He also drove a Chrysler Newport that the family will never forget. It was a van with the Tiger-Cats colours – yellow with a black stripe all around. The Ti-Cats, on their better days, and the Blue Jays were his favourite sports teams.
CROSSWORDS, CAMPING, FISHING, WOODCARVING, WATER SKIING – OH MY!!
Until about 10 years ago, he enjoyed solving crossword puzzles. Although he was not an avid reader of novels, he made sure to read the newspaper every day. His favourite television shows were either true documentaries or CNN news 24/7.
Bill was a kind man who did some volunteer work for the Lions Club. At one time, he was the treasurer and due to his frugal nature, locked horns with other club members when he wouldn’t let the club spend any money. This proved to be a bit of a conflict because Sue was the president at the time. He was always proud of his involvement in the clubs he belonged to which included both the Copetown Lions Club and the Ancaster Lions Club. His sister Judi’s favourite memory of her brother was at a Lions Club Christmas penny sale. He lived by the Lions Club motto –“If you want to touch the past touch a rock. If you want to touch the present touch a rose. If you want to touch the future touch a life. Lions Club touching lives every day.” He touched my life. He helped my daughter and her family who live next door, especially when she had some health challenges. And he was so kind to me when I first met him – he told me not to back out of her driveway but to use his to turn around. After all, it was much safer and he didn’t want me to be in an accident! He was the type of neighbour everyone wishes for but few are lucky enough to have.
A while back, he enjoyed the challenging hobby of wood carving, which ought to have been difficult because his hands seem to shake quite a bit. He belonged to a woodcarving group as well as the Anglers and Hunters Club. It’s obvious he was an outdoors kind of guy who loved fishing when he was younger, making weekly excursions with his sister-in-law Brenda’s husband Dan to Bronte Creek for salmon. He could have a bit of a temper, like the time that he was frustrated after a day of ‘no results’ or ‘snagged lures’ fishing that he wrapped his fishing pole around a bridge.
OPINIONATED COLLECTOR
He was a man of few words and didn’t really like to talk on the phone a lot. He didn’t quite understand how Sue could talk to her sisters for hours on end. He would ask her “what do you have to talk about?” I’m thinking that not only do they have the ‘gift of gab’ but his misadventures gave them plenty to talk about!
While camping when the kids were young, Bill tried to teach the boy’s how to water ski. Note that he was accident prone and very clumsy most of his life. His shorts got stuck on a nail on the dock. When his shorts came down, well, everyone was mooned. The kids laughed and laughed hysterically. Imagine a father teaching his kids to water ski naked!
As time went on in life he became a homebody. Going to bed late for him was 9:00 PM. His sister Sandra Lee who lives in BC knew not to call him after 8:00 PM Ontario time.
SIGNATURE CLOTHING
For over thirty years, Bill’s five foot nine inch frame was rarely seen without the City of Hamilton uniform – at least when he was on duty. But in recent years, he was mostly seen in shorts and a golf shirt and wearing a baseball cap chosen from his huge collection. Over the years, his baseball cap collection grew to the point that no more were allowed in the house.
PEEVES AND QUIRKS
His wife Sue remarked that though Bill embraced the online ordering of stuff in recent years, it took twenty years to get him to use a debit card! He was a man of contrasts, described as a Diamond in the Rough or Grizzly Bear with a Teddy Bear heart or Judi’s favourite – a Tough Nut Marshmallow. His non-stop sarcasm and his unique sense of humour made him stand out from the crowd. If you heard him say “turn the lights off” or “shut the door the AC is on” once, you heard it hundreds of times. When he blew his nose not only could he rock the house foundation, he could drown out the nearby trains!
His pet peeves included almost everything about the provinces premier and why are gas prices sky high when oil is cheap?! Sue uses the dining room table as a desk and he was always after her to clear it!
Reading – The following verse is called the Legacy of Love.
The Legacy of Love
A brother, a husband, a father, a grandfather too,
This is the legacy we have from you.
You taught us love and how to fight,
You gave us strength, you gave us might.
A stronger person would be hard to find,
And in your heart, you were always kind.
You fought for us all in one way or another,
Not just as a husband not just as a father.
For all of us you gave your best,
Now the time has come for you to rest.
So go in peace, you've earned your sleep,
Your love in our hearts, we'll eternally keep
HIS LEGACY
Bill left wonderful memories. Lori has two memories she wants to share. It was a nasty snowstorm in 1977 and Lori was stuck on Upper Wentworth, Bill came to her rescue and got stuck himself. When she got married, he picked her up at Willie Franks hair dresser downtown. Unfortunately, it was the Girl Guides Parade day so he flagged a cop down and together they removed a barricade to get out and get Lori to the church on time.
Sue shared that he was always lucky at the casino and always left with his winnings. It happened often enough that everyone wanted to rub their tickets on his head for luck!
The most important thing he taught Ken was to appreciate building and fixing things on his own which initiated his interest in mechanical stuff, welding and building. Ken’s favourite memory is the naked water skiing incident – to this day every time he thinks of it, he has to smile.
Chris’s fondest childhood memory is when he drew pictures of his family and drew in his dad’s mad forehead wrinkles. He also loved how his dad would make him laugh when he would throw him in the pool. He really loved the jokes and his sense of humour. The most significant thing Chris learned from his dad was to always take care of your family, and have a strong work ethic. He was taught everything except how to live without him.
CLOSING WORDS
There is a bucket of Bill’s golf balls (indicate where).These are some of the over 2000 lost golf balls he collected when he worked at Knollwood Golf and Country Club. Please take one as you leave to remember him and if you should be so inclined, play it in the next game in memory of him. Remember, he was a pretty lucky guy!
Take also the message for you in these words written by Michael Josephson: What Will Matter?
What Will Matter?
by Michael Josephson
________________________________________
Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten
will pass to someone else.
Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations
and jealousies will finally disappear.
So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists will expire.
The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It won't matter where you came from
or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.
It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.
So what will matter?
How will the value of your days be measured?
What will matter is not what you bought
but what you built, not what you got but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success
but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned
but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity,
compassion, courage, or sacrifice
that enriched, empowered or encouraged others
to emulate your example.
What will matter is not your competence
but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew,
but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.
What will matter is not your memories
but the memories that live in those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered,
by whom and for what.
Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.
It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
Choose to live a life that matters
Like Bill did!
